dukeduchessandprinceofcambridge
edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

edenwolfie:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

holy shit that’s glorious

kvotheunkvothe

westeroni:

sketchlock:

genderfluidstrider:

jaegerirl:

fartgallery:

when you die and become a ghost are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity or can you go to like Ghost Gap and buy some new ghost clothes

if theres ghost capitalism i swear to fuck ill be so mad

overthrow the boogeoisie

Wait I thought everyone was just forced to wear a sheet over their heads.

where do you think they get the sheets bruh.

bed bath and beyond the veil.

kvotheunkvothe
roachpatrol:

the-real-seebs:

kayinnasaki:

Cyber harassment study reveals the unsurprising!
It still amazes me that I talk to guys who still think they get harassed just as much as women online. Like even from people who aren’t clearly and totally gross dumbasses. It kinda makes me think that, even in the best cases, it might be hard to really understand the sheer difference in frequency. You see a woman get harassed on a game and you go “Oh well I’ve been harassed” without understanding that there is seldom a session for her where that doesn’t happen or understanding what her inbox might look like…

That is a sort of stunning degree of difference.

"The data’s in! Women were lying about online harassment!”
"Aha! We knew it!" 
“Yeah, they’ve been severely underreporting how bad things are for them, turns out.”
"Wait, what?"

roachpatrol:

the-real-seebs:

kayinnasaki:

Cyber harassment study reveals the unsurprising!

It still amazes me that I talk to guys who still think they get harassed just as much as women online. Like even from people who aren’t clearly and totally gross dumbasses. It kinda makes me think that, even in the best cases, it might be hard to really understand the sheer difference in frequency. You see a woman get harassed on a game and you go “Oh well I’ve been harassed” without understanding that there is seldom a session for her where that doesn’t happen or understanding what her inbox might look like…

That is a sort of stunning degree of difference.

"The data’s in! Women were lying about online harassment!”

"Aha! We knew it!

Yeah, they’ve been severely underreporting how bad things are for them, turns out.”

"Wait, what?"

kronprinsessa
kronprinsessa:

cookiesincoffeecans:

blockchiken:

vanguard-of-courage:

blockchiken:

vinny-licious:

blockchiken:

alora-witch:

reeses-peixes:

prettyflyforaredspy:

raceagainstelegance:

suyedah:

a wallet that will never be stolen from your purse

omg

omfg

oh

that’s fucking brilliant

how, by putting a dollar in gift wrap?

"gift wrap"

i don’t get it

it’s not gift wrap

then what is it?

BUT WHUT IF U NEED A PAD
AND U THINK YOU HAVE ONE
BUT YOU DONT DONT DONT


That’s worse than having $5 stolen.

kronprinsessa:

cookiesincoffeecans:

blockchiken:

vanguard-of-courage:

blockchiken:

vinny-licious:

blockchiken:

alora-witch:

reeses-peixes:

prettyflyforaredspy:

raceagainstelegance:

suyedah:

a wallet that will never be stolen from your purse

omg

omfg

oh

that’s fucking brilliant

how, by putting a dollar in gift wrap?

"gift wrap"

i don’t get it

it’s not gift wrap

then what is it?

BUT WHUT IF U NEED A PAD

AND U THINK YOU HAVE ONE

BUT YOU DONT DONT DONT

That’s worse than having $5 stolen.